He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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