Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
