I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
