So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
