I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
