he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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