Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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