she looked like the bat from fern gully.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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