His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
