at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
