I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
