She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
