how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
did you just send me my own nude
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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