I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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