he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
