Already got asked if we're dating
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
