google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
