someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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