i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize