I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
