last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
