I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
