I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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