the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
