Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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