How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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