All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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