I puked a lego.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
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