About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
they need to just BURY HIM!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
