I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
