xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
