yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
