i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
