I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
