Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
false alarm. still invincible.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sex in the backyard? Check.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
