Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
