What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
