YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Randomize
