M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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