Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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