He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
