Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
