I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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