She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
