Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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