My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
