I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
