his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
