There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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