yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
