At least make sure they are 18
Why
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
