i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Randomize
