I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
