We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
