I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
third nipple confirmed
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
