census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
