It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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