How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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